I chose this topic, while a heart wrenching topic, it is very appropriate for Veteran's day.
The prompt is: I picked up the phone and I could not believe what I was hearing...
It was early in the morning of June 25th, 2008, I was still sleeping. I was living with my sister at the time because my husband was deployed. I figured it was him, because everyone knows not to call me early in the morning. I grabbed my phone and it was my friend Jessica. Why in the world is she calling me this early is all I could think. I almost didn't answer it, but she rarely called, and to call that early..she must need something, or it must be important. Recalling from my memory the best I can, this is how the conversation went.
Me: Hello
Jessica: Chris is dead
Me: (mind you I'm still half asleep) WHAT? WHO? What are you talking about?
Jessica: Chris, Carrie's husband, he's dead.
Me: Jessica, this is one sick joke..it's not even funny.
Jessica: I'm serious, he got killed in Afghanistan this morning.
Me: I know he was in Afghanistan, but I just talked to Carrie on MySpace last night, we were talking about my new haircut, she was fine..and didn't mention anything about Chris.
Jessica: They came to her door at like 5 this morning. I'm serious, I don't know what to do for her.
Me: I'm leaving as soon as I can. I will be there tomorrow. I need to get off of here and call her.
I called Carrie immediately. It was true. Being married to a Marine, I have known guys that have been killed before, but they were only acquaintances. Never had one of my good friends lost their husband, or even had a husband injured. These are people that we invited over to our house for our kids parties, we went to their house for their sons party, and tupperware parties! They came over for Christmas parties and Thanksgiving, and just to have a party period! Chris was always right there with my husband getting drunk and being the life of the party! Chris was that guy, no matter what was going on, he could always bring a smile to your face. I was in shock!
I was in New Mexico living with my sister at the time. Carrie was living at Camp Pendleton. I told her I was coming out. I didn't know what to say, and nothing I did say could make it better, but I needed to be there for her. I felt so helpless being so far away, and not being able to just give her a hug and tell her I loved her. She told me I didn't have to, and I know I didn't, but I know she would do the same if roles were reversed. I spent the rest of that day packing my bags and letting all my family know what was going on. My husband called later that evening, he had seen where I had posted about Chris's death on my MySpace, and he was in just as much shock. I thought he might not want me to drive the 14+ hours by myself with 3 kids to go see her, but he encouraged me.
The next morning I woke up at 3am and headed out. I made it to her house by 7 that evening. All I could do was hug her and tell her I loved her. It is heart wrenching to see someone hurting so bad, and not being able to help.
Carrie is an AMAZINGLY strong woman. She held it together better then I could have ever imagined, and continues to hold it together today! I am so proud to call her my friend. She is a great mother, and wonderful friend. She has her bad days of course, but she trudges on and continues to live her life, which I am positive, Chris wants her to do! I love her and admire her!
Just remember on Veterans day and EVERY day: Freedom is not free! Never forgot those who gave all so you can have the freedom to do what you do each day!
Here are a few pictures of Chris I took off of Carrie's profile
Oh my gosh that is so sad. That brings tears to my eyes! Poor thing.
ReplyDeleteI, like you before this tragedy, have never had any close Marines to me pass. I couldn't imagine having my husband taken from me but it's a living reality every day! It must be so hard for her when holidays like Memorial Day come and go and people don't even take time to realize the meaning. Shoot, every holiday must be hard for her.
The pictures of her and her son by the graveyard are heart-wrenching.
Can I ask how he died? Was it in combat?
Ugh, such a sad story but I am thankful for their ultimate sacrifice!
He was EOD (explosive ordanace disposal). He was deployed to Afghanistan. Some Marines out on a patrol found an IED, so him and his team were called out to diffuse it. He was on top of it, working on it when it went off. Like Carrie always says, he knew the risk being EOD, he had lost many friends, but he loved what he did.
ReplyDeleteI hope you never have to experience losing a close friend like that. While it is nothing in comparison to what the wife is feeling, you feel so helpless. You have to stand back and watch as they have to take this horrible rollercoaster ride of emotion, and know that nothing you do or say is going to change that fact. All you can do is be there for them and let them know you love them.
I'm so sorry for your friends loss. I can't imagine losing my husband.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad.
But thanks to all the veterans, for giving us our freedom.
Thank you for posting about your friends husband. Too often our freedom is taken for granted and people don't realize the price that is paid for it. You wrote a wonderful tribute, thank you.
ReplyDeleteWow...what a moving story....I am crying. I am amazed at the strength of military wives. You all are awesome. I have many friends in Iraq, and luckily everyone has returned safely...most are either going back or have already returned.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mama the Chef, that was a really wonderful tribute.
Holly @ 504 Main
I can't even imagine. I am grateful to her husband for what did. I am grateful to her for supporting him at all costs. Give her a hug. Thank you sharing this.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how terrible that was for both her and you. You're an incredible friend. My son did 2 tours in Iraq and lost many friends. Freedom isn't free but it is worth fighting for. My son saw first hand how our presence there made a huge life changing difference in the lives of the average Iraqi people. I thank your husband and all the men and women who are risking their lives for me and for the sacrifice that you and other military families are making. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteOhhhhh that is so sad. And there's something about the pictures that really just make it more real. I want them all to come home. Nobody should have to go through that.
ReplyDeleteEven though I never met Carrie.. and heard this story so many times.. I just got goosebumps as I read this post. Up until recently (meeting you, Clarissa, and Chrissie) I never really knew too much with the military.. I truly have a new respect and admiration for any soldier.. rank or branch.. they truly are sacraficing their lives to make our's better and live by the highest code of morality... I love you!
ReplyDelete